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Random thoughts and randomness in general


Rude

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WOW----TR------you have done so much with this place since I first logged in.   I have not had time to read through past words, but I hope your getting the support you need and more!!!  Find a place---its awkward when you yourself are awkward, but this place is a place where awkward no longer is awkward but rather, a celebration of the inner excitement and the strange that comes with enjoying productions by Merry Pranksters-GD--Zen Tricksters------>DSO------>  Days of strange with Novel being novel, at least since 1918.    Seclusion to a recluse.  Hidden behind walls, covered faces, expressions lost by vails.  Its nice to bring back winks to show favor of personal flavor.   Nothing more kinder this year then spinning with a lop sided belly to wonderous sounds that pierce the soul---Remember how you cried the day of your first born----Impactful---you will always remember.   Life out of the movement of two bodies becoming one creating another.  Its poetry in motion---Its beauty we all celebrate in the ways we like the most.   Soon there after--the late nights--no sleep---the dirty diaper changes---the efforts, finances, sacrifices to make that act into a person we will always see as beautiful in our eyes no matter their failures or successes.  We will still love because of the energy we give---despite the ups and downs--somehow that rollercoaster makes us closer, love more, and allows us to  care beyond what we ever cared for previously.  -----Sound like tour? Less the diapers? For some----we got 1 on the way, and for some reason, I think some of us may change a diaper or two over the next couple years.  How Rude!!

 

Most of us know and have a understanding or some hint of the interconnectedness of life.  To be born again in the witness of thousands---to be one way, and that night turn into something else.  To walk down that crazy lot and into a isle ---- to fully open you self up to something larger than yourself.  Its a birth  into something greater than yourself.  Its love making with the moves and grooves of many.  Its a product that would not be unless enjoyed with others.  Its enough at times to make you cry with all the emotions you ever had or will have.  A release of the deepest seeded feelings that a person can experience outside of the creation of life itself.  A sacred bond shared by those we choose to love. 

 

A wise Doctor once told me, we are a dysfunctional family that choose to be family.  We were not born into it--we searched for it----the meaning of it----to much to understand on our own, so we connect with others to share how it effects ourselves, only to find, it effects strangers the same way.  Over time, those strangers became friends, and from friends, became family.  Family, that on multiple occasions drove an extra 5-10 hours to get me home, when I missed a train.  When your girl got mad and left you in a rural area with no rentals, planes or trains.  The existential family stepped in and delivered you back to where you belong.   

 

I have family on here.  I am lucky I searched and found individuals I will love forever, and despite me, will love me forever.   People outside of us,  have asked--- "why is going down the road feeling bad fun".....Me Mom--in particular-----Why is bad so glad----because---- stuck in a car melting away was not enough for a soul to leave area of the best sound just to attempt to pry my ass out of the car to share in our ritual dance.  The ritual is not ours as if we own it, but the shared experiences and joy of sharing it with each other and everyone else is as close as I will ever get to the tears and the joyous feeling of my first born.  ----Brother C---you did not get me out of the car---but I danced with you the same.  Spirit is not always as real as shaking bones, but its as big if not bigger----thank you for trying!!!!

 

Military----when you work through it all, you grow with  some ---you know in your mind why honor, valor, and courage is respected.  Its because you realize, you would actually give your life for someone you know who would do the same for you---you become connected in ways typical friendship does not offer---or even allow.  The comradery----sounds light years away from this type of "Hippy" forum---but its as close as it could ever be.  I came here lost, trying to find some semblance of normalcy, peace, acceptance---answers----The answers found me when I was not looking. ------There is a road, no simple highway

between the dawn and the dark of night

and if you go, no one may follow

That path is for your steps alone

You who choose to lead must follow

but if your fall you fall alone

if you should stand, then who's to guide you?

If I knew the way, I would take you home.   

 

There is no path home but the path home you make for yourself.  No one can answer those questions so deep and personal---even if you share.  The beauty of it is ownership of your choices, but the love in it is the help our family gave to keep a dead man walking.   The support to help a wounded brother.  The understanding that we all fall.  To fall is human, to seek answers is human, to step back and offer support in the journey to help someone find those paths, well------that's  love in its purist form.   Family kept a float a wandering soul, disheartened, disillusioned, numb, near no mercy, and the death that would of followed.  Awkward---huh?   lil bit---Openly shared a world of despair.  Everyday, like the panhandler on the street.  Just looking for little nuggets to hold on to.  Something to bring back meaning to the feelings.  

 

Oddly, found it in the Ruddiest of places.  Younger Cosmic offered a hand, followed by some Texas Tea, wrapped  by some locally hated Reynolds out of the Carolina Contingent, and smoothed over by chance meetings with a northern Cave Doctor on some Caribbean island stuck with another confused child of Mason---who has grown as much as myself over the years--near a decade. Teacher up north and a pizza brother in Jersey who no longer frequent-- I dont forget the nights you reached out worried.    What a quick synapsis of years past that seems like yesterday.  There was some sweet Mango in between along with deep wisdom out of Vegas-----yea, I know, there is more to Vegas than glitter and gold!!!   I will end this story with some of biggest offering of thanks---TR......Thanks T Ron----you offered confidence to a pure heart when awkward was at its height---All I wanted was to jump back on the bus, so badly it scarred some that were already riding.  Anyone, anywho, anywhere else, the troubles would of been turned away, dismissed, and never thought about again. Not here----Not with these people. 

 

my 2nd GD show----so drunk despite help, they were throwing me out.  Alone, helpless, all  my funds and material out for some to prosecute, others to profit, and for me to loose was kept close and hidden by strangers who left 1st set of the show to care for me.  Staid with me in the lot until those I was with found my near lifeless body.   I do not know who those strangers were, individually, but I know them now as our family.  The same family who I annoyed, pestered, and ultimately shared with the darkest moments of my life--openly, with out embarrassment----as I knew from days past, when I lost my wings---and could not fly, others would fly to me and so they did, and so I get to write this random with a smile on my face.   

 

God Bless

Jerry Bless

-----I am truly thankful, I am thankful for your peace, your patience, and your understanding.  You are a community of brothers and sisters that choose each other!!  You are family, and I am thankful to always be part of it!!!    Thanks for bringing me water when I preferred beer.   LOVE YALL!!!   

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Love and miss you my brother more than words can tell.

 

Not GD lyrics but gratefully now in rotation:

 

If you had just a minute to breathe and they granted you one final wish
Would you ask for something like another chance?
Or something similar as this? Don't worry too much
It'll happen to you as sure as your sorrows are joys

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I don’t know you but now believe that I do after reading that, going back to where. You are the same as me. I read it as you probably wrote it, with a stream of conscience. Thank you. I needed that. It was read while 11/30/80 played alongside me. Space into the wheel into China doll. A warm embrace from more than six feet away. 

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It now does seem to be in rotation.   I heard a glimpse of it in 2017--maybe 2018.  I did not know what I was hearing, but a Carolina feller, now retired, came up to me with raised eyebrows and excited expression.  "Man, that sounded like a low spark tease".   Being me, a man----I dare not share that I had no clue what he was talking about.  Low spark?  Are you flipping kidding me?  The show being played was a 68:}-----    Probably the best show I have ever heard.  Less that 69 we got at Jubilee.   You remember, they started playing Mountains of the Moon---and we all were a bit transformed into a OMG, what is going to happen?  Was one of the last times our paths crossed.   Hope that will be corrected sooner than later.   We all have those we look up to for various reasons.  We also remember the exchange that elevated that person to which you appreciate the gold inside the soul. Granted,  all that glitters is not gold, but at times what does glitter is gold especially when that person knows all you know and then some. Mr. Vegas is true gold, and his mind will weigh deep in your own when you realize your own depth may not be as deep as those of others, and there is still some distance to go.  From John Ford to Focualt------from Talking Heads to the limitless depths of the Dead.  True understanding of the world is a understanding of, or at the very least exposure to history, art, society, law and science----You have to work at this.  It does not come to you---you have to search it out for yourself-----My dyslexia gets me at times----so I will use someone else words:   Wise people generally share an optimism that life's problems can be solved and experience a certain amount of calm in facing difficult decisions.  Intelligence may be necessary for wisdom, but it definitely isn't sufficient; an ability to see the big picture, a sense of proportion, intellectual humility, and considerable introspection ....wisdom can be acquired only through experience, but by itself, experience does not automatically confer wisdom----and from that, I offer thanks to one of the wise men of our community.  Low Spark, well, another door opened and another lens to see.   She never destroyed me, she allowed passage back to myself.  Thanks for being part of that catalyst Brother V!!!!

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1 hour ago, Greg from Chestertown said:

I don’t know you but now believe that I do after reading that, going back to where. You are the same as me. I read it as you probably wrote it, with a stream of conscience. Thank you. I needed that. It was read while 11/30/80 played alongside me. Space into the wheel into China doll. A warm embrace from more than six feet away. 

The Wheel into China Doll---that sums up a lot----confliction, motives, actions, keeping up, giving up, trying to hang on with a slow silence of heavens bells and the thunderous movement of a life in motion.  Through it all I just wished I was a head light on a north bound train.  The Thai say same same but different---in Thai of course.   Not sure if I am to be sad of earth shattering shared expereinces that are same but different, or if I am to be happy someone else survived through that type of hell.   I lean towards the latter----I believe we have crossed paths Greg.  I want to say T for Texas brought a introduction.  I appreciate your thank you and reciprocate.  6 feet---50----3000miles----hugs is love----Been a long year of distance----Summer will come...the season to dance again will be laid before our nimble toes and the wings we all need to spread.....I spent the whole day with the window open and GD at volume 10!!!  My neighbors have not seen me in 8 months-----but today the heard me, and whom ever looked through my window saw a dancing man happy to move!!!  

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This talk of Low Spark . . .  makes me long for some live performances.  Hoping we get to have the Jubilee this year (tics in hand - didn't redeem 2020 issues).  Have yet to hear DSO's rendition of same. Hoping that its in the offering this year.  Last time I heard Low Spark live was at Legend Valley (Buckeye Lake at the time) when Traffic opened for The Boys. Lots of rain that evening.  Traffic  encored with "Rainmaker" (off the flip-side of Low Spark album) and the Dead opened with "Rain" (Beatles - "When the rain comes, they run and hide their heads . . .").   Funny, looking back, I have a hard time remembering the uncomfortable drenching on the hill.

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Bill Walton is doing the commentary at the Maui invitational. Everything he says is dead related and his way out there comments are  so funny to listen to because we can all dig it, it’s putting a huge smile on my face. I remeber he did a lot of nba games too...My buddy at work with me right now is also a deadhead  and he goes the other The other guy next to Walton is having a special day, his mind is blown right and he’s definitely  not  into waltons antics. Definitely   isn’t finding it as great as we are. This is so funny. 
 

then he made sure Jerry made it to Maui because he loved it so much 

 ( I tried to upload it , I dunno what I’m doing...bill had a cardboard cut out of Jerry and him in the stands!!)

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Bill is an insane announcer. I have vid of him doing the 1st UK game he ever did and he used 3 dead references in 90 secs. If you don’t really care about the game his a good announcer. But he’s not really a good basketball color guy. Dave Pasch tries to keep him in line. It’s hillarious how he cracks on bill. Vic I’ll text you the a vid of Dave telling bill he’s done too many drugs. I think bill said too much of everything is just enough and Dave pasch came back with a zinger. 

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19 hours ago, Rude said:

Bill is an insane announcer. I have vid of him doing the 1st UK game he ever did and he used 3 dead references in 90 secs. If you don’t really care about the game his a good announcer. But he’s not really a good basketball color guy. Dave Pasch tries to keep him in line. It’s hillarious how he cracks on bill. Vic I’ll text you the a vid of Dave telling bill he’s done too many drugs. I think bill said too much of everything is just enough and Dave pasch came back with a zinger. 

Rude Send it overrrrrr. Bill asked benetti (the other announcer) if he’s ever been in a sonic boom and of course the guy said no. Then he asked if he’s ever been in a flesh eating beam of light. Classic

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Last night Basement Dance Party #6 pierced

the silence of a cold, rainy December evening

with three sets of Grateful Dead goodness.

Textures from all eras consumed, the second 

set especially electric.  The underground dance

lab again delivered a journey through the

human condition.  Great way to start a week

off from work, Big Fun.

 

Set One  73/02/26  Lincoln, NB

 

Promised Land, Loser, Jack Straw, Don't Ease,

Looks Like Rain, Loose Lucy, Beer Barrel Polka,

Big Railroad, Playin' In The Band.

 

Set Two  67/11/10  Shrine Exposition Hall,  Los Angeles

 

Cryptical>Other One>Cryptical>New Potato Caboose>

Alligator>Caution.

 

Set Three  87/03/27  Hartford, CT

 

Touch of Grey>Samson and Delilah, Cumberland Blues,

Estimated Prophet>Eyes of the World>D>S>

 

Set Three  74/05/19  Portland, OR

 

Truckin'>Jam>Mind Left Body Jam>Not Fade Away>

Goin' Down the Road>One More Saturday Nite.

 

E:  US Blues.

 

Praise DSO.

 

 

 

 

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So the gf wants us to do this weekends run of the stolen faces in Huntsville al then Jackson MS this Friday and Saturday. Both indoor music venue shows. Shes like this is the last hurrah before popping out a baby 4 days later. I’m like you are freaking insane but I also have to love that I made her one of the most hardcore new heads out there. Of course I’m not doing it but she’s brought it up twice. She’s at the point where I have to help her get out of the car and help her turn over in bed and she wants us to do a 6 hour drive to see an average dead band and dance for 4 hours. She’s also mad that panic is too big to do any shows anytime soon. I think St Augustine every summer for panic will be on our rotation now b/c she digs the harder jams and Panic is a hard party to beat. Lawn with me changing diapers as she roams will be the likely scenario. I just wanted to get her to like doing some runs or maybe a tour here and there. Note she didn’t do jubilee 2015 b/c she said camping is gross. Now she wants 50 shows a year and really wants camping fests lol. Her tour mentality is on par with mango and Mc from years past. Do them all lol. I would have thrown chuck into that analogy but she’s more on the young side of it vs Chuck with the gold plated winnebagos, penthouses at circus circus and deluxe rooms at the Howard Johnson.  Well back to Netflix.....

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