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Really now......


Tea

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http://noisey.vice.com/blog/the-123-worst-musicians-of-all-time

 

Worst 123 musicans of all time?  Here is how this journalist summed up some of my favorites:

 

GRATEFUL DEAD

Dear Dad,

You need to stop sucking up our bandwidth downloading hour-long bootlegs of “Dark Star” while I’m trying to watch porn. You’re 58 now. Have you ever stopped to consider that Jerry Garcia has been dead for 20 years? I was an all-conference cross-country runner and you couldn’t even be bothered to show up to the awards banquet because you were smoking weed. I don’t love you anymore, and it’s all Jerry Garcia’s fault.

Love,
Your teenage son

 

BOB DYLAN

Bob Dylan is possibly the most self-absorbed, self-mythologizing piece of shit to ever pick up a guitar. By writing inscrutable songs that pretend to elevate the byzantine dramas of his whiny, privileged life to some sort of self-construed poetry, Bob Dylan paved the way for our current vapid culture of appreciating personal expression over any form of talent. He couldn’t sing, he made a bunch of terrible gospel albums, and he sold out his core folk fan base and its laudable values of anti-commercialism by going electric. Although he was seen as a voice of change, he demonstrated himself to be selfish at every turn of his career. And worst of all, he has two first names.

 

NEIL YOUNG

The only thing that sucks harder than Neil Young’s whiny cat squeal of a voice is people who put his music on road trip mixtapes for “adventures” they have into the mountains with their pals while the entire group does a singalong. Old man, take a look at your life and shut the fuck up.

 

TOM WAITS

Because who needs talent when you sound like you’re gargling broken glass?

 

TALKING HEADS

Hey David Byrne, here’s a dry, nonsensical lyric for you that might accidentally convey the oddity of the human condition: go fuck yourself.

 

PRINCE

Isn’t he the guy from Chappelle’s Show?

 

PINK FLOYD

Fun fact!! If you sync up Dark Side of the Moon with The Wizard of Oz, it still sounds like unlistenable horseshit.

 

The considerable crack on Bob Dylan deserves some retribution.  A sweat sock filled with a couple pool balls lauched upside his head outta do it.  I chuckled a little at the Grateful Dead observation though.

 

Back to work :(

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I'd hate to hear what this guy considers good music.

I'm thinking Dresses and Foster the People. Because God knows there is never anything whiny, self-indulgent, or overly precious about hipster music.

 

I agree.  Pumped up kicks is a deep meaningful song and Im happy to see other dead heads appreciate that Foster the People is the Bob Dylan of our generation.

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Dylan did do that Chevy super bowl commercial.

I felt that in the pit of my stomach. I'm not one to begrudge using such mediums to make some some $. Paying homage to the spirit of 'Merica through a car manufacturer -check that- a lying, theiving multinational industrial machine?

That hurt a little.

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It made my stomach turn.

Dylan has of course earned the right to make money how he sees fit.

I was born with the right to have my own opinion about those actions.

Chevy? I could have handled a silly jingle written and performed by Bob, possibly poking fun at his poor singing voice. This would be forgiveable. But that commercial? It was a counter cultural icon selling out for the commercial culture machine. It was abandonment of all I believed that Dylan stood for. Seeger and other folk music icons may have been right. Instead of keeping with the times, maybe Dylan sold his soul to go electric. He furthered himself from political writing according to many. I still love his songs and am fascinated by the mystery I associate with the enigmatic character that is Bob Dylan but definitely feel he could have avoided this final sell out. He didn't need the money. Its almost like he thumbed his nose at the counter culture that championed him.

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