Life's vent page---how do we turn negatives into positives!

[GoingBackTo Where....]

I am sure this thread will not go far, but I need somewhere to write this!!!  

 

I could use my journal, but its not the same!!! 

 

Yesterday....briliant, some shit cleared that had me scared shitless.  Fine.....God or Jerry, more than likely both helped out, and the weight of those worries have subsided!!:}

 

Today, horriable morning conflict with the wife:{    At least I started back running again, and working out in the gym!!   Nothing like  GD in the gym.   People laugh at me, cause its hard not to dance!!!  

 

Anyhow, feeling great, go get some appliances for a rental I just finally got tenants in!!!   Yea!!!!   

 

So my mother in law has a flat tire.   Do not feel like fixing it, but I fix things so thats what I do!!   Talking about it with my pops, and than FUCKING BAM-------------

 

I just paid my fucking truck off yesterday!!!!!!!   Today,   IT GOT SIDESWIPED BY SOME DUMB FUCK!!!   I was so pissed I threw my phone through their windsheild.   So now my paid off truck is fucked and I have no phone:{

 

IF he would hit me a little furthur up, than he would of relived me from all this stupid shit I deal with!!   Fuck..fuck...fuck........   One step forward...10 back......  

 

I am asking for a break, but in reality, I am proably have not been thankful enough for all the breaks I have been giving!!! 

 

At first I felt a lil weird typing out my own personal world for forums to read, or not read.   Honestly, I expose more of my soul when you see me dancing and grooving, this stuff is just---the what evers, but still.....fuck!!!

 

Can a whole week go by with out a maritial fight, a tenant calling saying something is wrong, parents dying, grandparents close to it, and kids constantly screaming.  

 

is there any wonder why I want to get out of town and have some fun!!!! 

 

Please someone out there, tell me I am bitch complaining about stupid shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  And to think I got one of my Masters in Counseling!!  Fucking joke!!!  I really need the counsel of higher authority.    Jerry--please shine your light on me, I can hear the music play, but I still am trying to find my way!!!   

 

FUCK FUCK FUCK---------Proably should not write all of this since I am trying to find a roomate for Penns Peak!!!  LOL---actually that idea just put a smile on my face----i needed that-----yea, i would not room with someone who types this shit for all to see!!    So what?  i am pretty normal and sane for the most part, its just easy to get overwhelmed these days!!   I thought the older we get the better prepared for stress, but looks like a failed that one!!!   

 

Sitting here now on my third Big Foot:]  ;[  jaming DSO in my ears at a Whole Foods drinking station.   The food here to pricey, but the beer is cheap, and when barleywine, served in Goblets!!! 

 

Time and good music heals all wounds, perhaps a little Hoffman to find another door.   Sucks to be sad/mad or just full of discontent.   

 

Should of went to Jamaica---single occupancey--fuck it----kids can take out student loans---

 

Easier to cry at 40 than 20----sad state of affairs!! 

 

Please-------tell me everyone of you MF's have a perfect life, and that I am a island, cause it feels like it at times!!!    Have not even got into Cathartic words yet,  save those for journal!!!   

 

Thank you GD for making it, thanks DSO for recreating it!!   Tears or not, the music makes me smile!!

 

GDTRFB-----my all time feel happy song in the midst of sadness!!!  Well many songs for different occasions, but GDTRFB   brings a smile almost everytime!!!

 

A day in a life------wish it was more positive!!   I wish everyday was positive!!!

 

Sorry if you read this!!!    Was helpful for me to write it out, only posting now cause I am three big foots under!!!!!

 

-----Someone told me there is a lot scene at Penns Peak!!!       Rest of the day I am getting some tour shirts together!!   just for Penn's -----   and some to give away at Jubilee!!     God I want a smoke!!!   I am old enough, let go get one!!

 

Peace out!!!    

 

 

Oh yea----turning this negative day into a postitve one by gettin gmy shirt designs down!!     Not even trying to make money, just having fun!!!!!

 

 

 

[Tea]

Sunny >

Life is wondrous cruelty. A wave of positive momentum, things are clicking, then a series of gut punches before the knockdown. You get back up to fight...2 steps forward, then the next birrage comes. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I'll say this for what it's worth: unspeakable tragedies happen all around us. There are people who endure things that would send me to the padded room - never to again emerge. If they can walk into the center of hell and out the other side - my shit is nothing but petty crap.

Easier said than done - I know. When I'm on empty, I find strength from people that go through unbelievable loss/challenges and say its a blessing. This music is a huge salve too

FYI - If someone is considering some floor-space help to sun1869 for Penns Peak....hit him up > Seriously good people. A good egg for sure.

Keep that chin up brother. See u at the Jubilee

[GoingBackTo Where....]

Sunny >

Life is wondrous cruelty. A wave of positive momentum, things are clicking, then a series of gut punches before the knockdown. You get back up to fight...2 steps forward, then the next birrage comes. Lather, Rinse, Repeat.

I'll say this for what it's worth: unspeakable tragedies happen all around us. There are people who endure things that would send me to the padded room - never to again emerge. If they can walk into the center of hell and out the other side - my shit is nothing but petty crap.

Easier said than done - I know. When I'm on empty, I find strength from people that go through unbelievable loss/challenges and say its a blessing. This music is a huge salve too

FYI - If someone is considering some floor-space help to sun1869 for Penns Peak....hit him up > Seriously good people. A good egg for sure.

Keep that chin up brother. See u at the Jubilee

wtf--- SOMEONE  just spilt a beer on my laptop:{   Not the simple spil, but got all in my keyboard:{    FUck..... please let this day end.. Please fuclking make it stop now!!!  Let me lay benethea the roses, and at this point, let my eyes no longer see!!    I love life, and want to see my children grow children, but fuck!!!    Tired of finding happiness, thought it should be the standard,  not the random!!!

 

If you see me at a show, and I am smiling and having a blast,-----do not interupt!!!  I will love sharing words before and after, but please never during.   I may be a bit rude!!   not my intention, but this is my escape from all that is negative!!!      Sometimes I do not know songs.  I did not know Johanne---sure I spelled wrong, but I know now. Never enjoyed forever young, like I ever heard it live, but it made4 me melt in Richmond!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

40 mins late, I finish this statement, just had a full beer spill on my laptop.. WTF.. When it rains it pours, wish it was alll positive rain..

 

I am in tears now----yea--it works after  lil while, but i need a new lap---I just bought this before the twins.  Who the fuck has this kind of money!!   FUCK>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>   

 

 

Tears welling in Whole foods, comfort from the bar.....but fuck---who spills a whle beer on top off!!    I am luckey i can type..   Whatever.....another month of this shit, and fuck it!!!  you know!!    i really never wished for anything better than a cabin in the woods!!!  I opt for more than that, and I have been so sorry since!!

 

Thanks T!!    Thanks T......   

 

I am stil drowning!!   dead air is better than none!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[GoingBackTo Where....]

Oh yea====sorry----fuck me---DSO Rocks...  sorry to spread my sleeze around.   Forgive me for that, and oh well at shows!!  I am who I am!!!!

 

You will only know me as a spinner, cause every thought about what I look like and who I am is out the window!!! 

 

Out the window!!  Leaving tonight, hoping for a better morrow!!!

[Taper Ron]

Let me guess what your favorite word is.

[Cosmic Mike]

It makes me glad to see you're keeping a positive attitude through it all Sun. I can tell that you know where to find true happiness when you need it, something that others sometimes never accomplish. You do really seem to maintain good spirits through it all. I'm too young to have attained any wisdom, but I do know of a wise man named Charles Bukowski. Here's an excerpt from his poem "to hell and back"

 

"they say that hell is crowded, yet,

when you're in hell,

you always seem to be alone.

& you can't tell anyone you're crazy

& being crazy is being in hell

& being sane is hellish too.

 

those who escape hell, however,

never talk about it

& nothing much bothers them after that."

 

 

Keep up your vivacity for life's endeavors Sun.

 

Haha I wonder what your favorite word is too.

[GoingBackTo Where....]

My favorite word is love!!    It pains me not to be able to use it as much as I want!!!   Especially to the one I want to use it with the most!!  Sorry about the 4 letter words.... i am so  much more learned than to use such words as a short cut to thought!!

 

Thanks TR for the light expression of displeased thought!!  I agree!!   

 

hope your worlds are nicer than mine!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[Taper Ron]

Sunny, don't take everything I say seriously.  I actually make a joke once in awhile.

[Mango]

diarrhea

[bs69]

Make those around you happy and you will be too, and headphones rock!

[Cosmic Mike]

Life vent: my car was stolen tonight.

 

Still going to make it to all the shows I plan.

[comesatime]

diarrhea

 

 

 

When you're climbing up a ladder,

and  you feel something splatter

Diarrhea

 

 

 

 

  

[ducats]

sing the blues - but stop getting caught every time, would you please

[michelle]

seems that life is kind of like a river... it can be smooth and enjoyable... you go around a bend... maybe there are rapids and everything goes haywire ... eventually ... things will smooth out again.... however, there are no guarantees ... and most likely things will become rough once again ... and hopefully...  they will become smooth once again

 

and sometimes it's all about perspective ~ sitting on the bank of the river, watching the sunset... things seem pretty nice and enjoyable, even as you're watching the rapids....

 

if you were in the river, however... going through the rapids.... heck, maybe your canoe tipped over and you lost everything and floating along in the chaos of the moment ... well, the river and sunset aren't as pleasing in that moment to the one in the river as they are to the one on the riverbank

 

so... as you realize your truck is totaled ... and so is your laptop.... think if the guy that just came home from the war... because he lost a few limbs...  and is trying to learn how to deal with all that... trying to learn how to walk with prosthetic legs... and/or maybe arms ... 

 

or the 12 year old boy that just lost his dad to cancer... and will no longer have a father

 

it's all about perspective

and realizing the importance of the precious moment at hand.... and the fact that there are absolutely no guarantees

 

when I was about 18... someone encouraged me to read the Tao... and also turned me onto Ram Dass ~ let me encourage you, if you are seeking some inner peace... to also take some time to read some Tao

 

Although there may be many texts written regarding the Tao... let me offer some here ~

 

this is an excerpt from the first reading my friend offered and here's the link http://www.age-of-the-sage.org/buddhism/third_patriarch_zen.html

 

Hsin Hsin Ming ~ by Seng T'san, Third Zen Patriarch

Verses on the Faith Mind

 

The Great Way is not difficult
for those who have no preferences.
When love and hate are both absent
everything becomes clear and undisguised.
Make the smallest distinction, however,
and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

If you wish to see the truth
then hold no opinions for or against anything.
To set up what you like against what you dislike
is the disease of the mind.

When the deep meaning of things is not understood,
the mind’s essential peace is disturbed to no avail.

The Way is perfect like vast space
where nothing is lacking and nothing in excess.
Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject
that we do not see the true nature of things.

Live neither in the entanglements of outer things,
nor in inner feelings of emptiness.
Be serene in the oneness of things and such
erroneous views will disappear by themselves.

 

~ it goes on, but that's enough for here

 

also, I suggest The Tao of Pooh ~ it's an easy read... as well as The Tao of Willie ( yeah, willie nelson)

 

As for Ram Dass, he has some good videos... since you're suffering... I suggest Fierce Grace ...

 

He has a lot of knowledge... you can find videos on youtube

 

I have a few things to do right now so I'll have to cut this short.... I could say more things here, but my time is obligated elsewhere right now.... besides, you have some food for thought here ... if you wish

 

good luck in all that you do ~ go in love, go in peace


 

[XChemistry]

Such As Life. We are all a little screwed up. Life is mainly up and down. Folks get under your skin and wifes or husbands don't behave. In fact the World doesn't behave. Pain and turmoil can be converted into assests. God makes that possible, And I am not refering just to the God of the Preachers. GOD can be the Great Out Doors And all that encompasses. We just need a break from the Stuff. Hiking, Mountain Biking and trying Enjoy life as best as possible. DSO is so Awesome that I will get twenty show this year and I am not sure that is not enough. Remeber to much os Everything Is Just Enough. Its not the Boulders Of Life That Screw Me Up instead it seems to be the pebbles. I have a rule that I go by when visiting relatives or them visiting Us. Do Not Over Stay Your Welcome. The Shorter Time the happier we are. Always have a Exit Plan and a getaway Car. GOOD LUCK    I Need A Miracle   Al

[michelle]

and don't think too much ~

 

if you get confused, listen to the music play

 

[michelle]

[GoingBackTo Where....]

Life vent: my car was stolen tonight.

 

Still going to make it to all the shows I plan.

WTF-----Really----have not read through rest of post, so maybe more info!!  Man Mike, that saddens me to no end!!

 

Ouch--ouch-even more ouch.   I am so sorry bro.   I hope you get it back in one piece!!   Postive vibes to you brother!! 

 

I know how things are lean in school, so I just hope this works out for you one way or another!!

 

Let me know, and we will still get you down to Wilimington and up to Penns!!

 

Peace bro

[Cosmic Mike]

I got my car back today actually! It seems to be in one piece, although it definitely has a funny smell to it now. Maybe some homeless people had an orgy in it, who knows. I'm just happy I got the thing back. I wasn't too worried anyways. The thing is old and easy to steal. I'm going to rent a car for the spring east coast shows anyways, for I don't believe my old bonneville would make it. Wilmington and Penn's is on my friend!

[GoingBackTo Where....]

LOL------Bonneville-----LOL---------My dad gave my sis his old bonneville when she graduated HS.  It was like a 79!!!

 

Too funny--------None the less!!  It sucks getting stuff stolen.  Happy you got it back!!!

 

Smells suck, idea of a orgy sucks even worse, no pun intended!!!

 

Good to hear Mike....glad things worked out!!!

 

Please send that karma my way---things just seem to be getting worse before better!!!

[Supplicated Velvet Thunder]

Aint got no dime but I've got some time...... Wharf rat syndrome is heavy. GET THE FUCK UP AND FLY AWAY. let the fragmentation of you v others and u vs events n u v urself go. If ur walking u can dance n u ain't got a problem w that. The no good life n tbe good life r the same its how ya see it. Mmmmmm eating my own words....

[ducats]

Aint got no dime but I've got some time...... Wharf rat syndrome is heavy. GET THE FUCK UP AND FLY AWAY. let the fragmentation of you v others and u vs events n u v urself go. If ur walking u can dance n u ain't got a problem w that. The no good life n tbe good life r the same its how ya see it. Mmmmmm eating my own words....

say what?

[GoingBackTo Where....]

Good Read:

 

[GratefulFred]

[Tea]

4K in auto repairs over last 2 months.  Grrrrrr.

 

Damn whip better run like a top from here on in....Could be worse I guess.