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First DSO experience


The_Aviator

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Hi friends,

My girlfriend wrote this essay about her first DSO experience at last Gratefulfest. I really liked it so I thought I'd share. I also want to point out that just because we are young and we didn't get to catch the actual Grateful Dead doesn't mean we "don't get it" or something. I also want to show how important DSO's work is and how it is appreciated. I hope someone enjoys it, and feel free to post about your first experience seeing DSO or the Dead themselves.

Ripple In The Water

The miniscule crystals seared my toes, seemingly getting hotter and hotter with each step as we hurried across the beach. The heat melted the view a few yards ahead of me as though it was a fresh watercolor painting. The children splashing in the waves were distorted into wavy caricatures of themselves. I could feel my scalp burning and I knew that my skin would be next as the sweat washed away all traces of my sun block. We threw down our towel and stripped down to our bathing suits. The rocky surface that separated the shallow shore from the deep, water filled quarry stretched out in front of us.

“Hey, you, get away from there!”

I stopped dead in my tracks, and immediately the heat beat down upon me. Unsure of what I had done wrong my heart began to thump and my mind began to race as the adrenaline rush that always accompanies being accused of something began flowing through my veins. The lifeguard waded closer to us, “That area is off limits to people under eighteen.”

I paused for a moment, still not used to the fact that I was legally considered an adult, and replied, “I am eighteen.”

“So am I,” a warm, familiar voice echoed next to me. We held up our arms defiantly, displaying the blue wristbands that indicated we were old enough to smoke tobacco, swim in the deep end, and die for our country but not yet old enough to get drunk (legally, that is). With a nod that indicated we were good to go we turned back to face the deep blue water. I watched the fish of various sizes scatter as I dipped my toes in the water, disrupting their peace. I began to wonder what lay in the depths of the water, beyond what I could see.

“Are you getting in?” the same familiar voice interrupted my pondering.

“You first,” I replied turning to look up at my favorite person in the world. The scintillating sunlight shined off of his dark hair and I could feel my own absorbing the heat. I reached up to touch my dark locks and instinctively pulled my hand away as though I had rested my hand on a sizzling stovetop.

“But it’s cold,” Andrew said, shifting his weight. As he moved the sun peaked out from behind his head and I turned, shielding my eyes.

“Just jump in and get it over with,” I replied, wishing I could follow my own advice, with a smile that crumpled as I squinted to protect my eyes. Sunlight bounced off the gentle waves of the water, creating a mesmerizing effect. I wanted so badly to close my eyes and dive into the crystalline liquid. I could almost feel how cool the water would be on my slowly roasting skin. I ached for the refreshing feeling of the water molecules running through my hair as I dived deeper and deeper into the blue, washing away the sweaty feeling I had accumulated all day.

“Why don’t you?” he retorted with a knowing smile.

“Ugh, fine. I will.” Still hesitant I stepped closer to miniature cliff. Leaning over the edge, I could almost feel the icy relief of the water. I dipped my toe in once more, the temperature of the water shockingly lower than the thick, humid atmosphere engulfing me. I dipped my foot in, this time letting it sit for a moment longer. My skin adjusted to the temperature at a steady pace, as I expected. A cool breeze chilled the cold water dripping off of my foot causing goose bumps to shoot up my legs, reminding me of the reason for my hesitation: change.

+ + +

As we first walked down Shakedown Street each step shot a puff of dusty sand into the air, the kind of sand that covers the ground at county fairs and farm shows turning your toes into a dry, gritty mess if you wear sandals like I always did. It was a lot like a fair at first glance; the walkway was lined with colorful shaded tents selling everything from clothes to jewelry to hoagies to pizza. However, upon further inspection it was unlike any Butler County Farm Show I had ever been to. An ocean of colors, scents, sounds and movement washed over me. Tie dye shirts, flowing flowered dresses, shorts made entirely out of corduroy patches, a paisley patterned button down shirt, an arm full of yarn bracelets, a sign advertising: Disc-O-Pizza, a woman burning a large stick of patchouli, a group of men smoking grape flavored cigars, up ahead a group of women hula hooping to a band playing on stage, behind me a circle of drummers had formed, a green Frisbee decorated with a marijuana leaf sailed over my head, a man with a walking stick covered in bells and bracelets and charms crossed my path. My eyes darted back and forth rapidly scanning the mystical landscape unfolding before my eyes, not wanting to miss a moment of the wonderful sensory overload.

People had already begun gathering in front of the stage, excitedly chattering. We stood several informal rows of people from the stage. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and as usual this made me feel uneasy. Looking around at all of the bonafide modern day hippies I felt like I didn’t really fit in. I remembered my initial hesitation when Andrew posed the idea of attending a music festival. Granted, this was already turning out to be much better than I had expected but we hadn’t really listened to much music yet and the headliner for all three nights hadn’t even come on stage. I didn’t listen to the Grateful Dead much, and what if this cover band wasn’t even that great? Three nights of a bad cover band didn’t sound like it would be quite worth the admission price for a soon to be college student without a job. Thankfully, the gaping holes in the crowd rapidly filled with the colorfully clad festivalgoers who began to cheer, interrupting my uncomfortable train of thought, as the members of Dark Star Orchestra filed on stage picking up their respective instruments and jovially conversing with each other.

+ + +

“Well?”

“Only if you count to three,” I stalled, deciding a few more moments would allow me to work up the courage to put my body through the shock of entering the icy water.

“One…” My heart beat a little faster, my thoughts came more rapidly and the adrenaline kicked in again. What if the rock juts out just a bit too far and I hit some part of my weak flesh on it?

“Two…” What if there is a frightening creature deep in the water that I can’t see? What if the fish try to bite my toes? What if the water is too cold? What about the uncomfortable shock of diving in freezing cold water? What if I open my eyes on accident and I lose the only contacts I brought with me?

“Thr-”Always afraid to jump. Always afraid of change. The same nervous thoughts would come to me before any big event or action that involved even the smallest possibility of a negative outcome. My optimism fails me as soon as my nerves kick in to overdrive. My lips quiver, my stomach flips, my hands shake. I question my abilities even if I know the situation well. I end up subconsciously choosing to worry rather than to trust, choosing self-doubt over confidence, choosing inaction over the possibility of failure.

“I can’t do it!” I quickly exclaimed, bouncing from one foot to the other nervously, “You have to jump first.”

“Fine,” he looked at me with an expression of slight disbelief before gliding effortlessly into the quarry.

+ + +

The band began to pluck out the first few notes as I listened carefully, trying to identify the song. It wasn’t one I recognized. Feeling uneasy again, I worried that only songs I wasn’t a fan of would be played. Those around me seemed pleased with the song choice as I surveyed the crowd and I noticed the many authentic Grateful Dead tour shirts. As I watched everyone begin to fluidly move around me, I felt frozen. I was stuck in place. I was an outsider observing the habits of an unfamiliar species.

+ + +

“Is it cold? Can you feel the fish touching you?” I asked when he resurfaced.

“It’s fine, get in here!” I shook my head quickly in response. “Are you serious? Aren’t you hot? The water is fine. Come on, Erica. Don’t leave me in here alone.”

“Okay, okay,” his guilt trip was getting the better of me and I accepted my fate, “but you have to count to three again.”

+ + +

The music was pleasant. I wanted to dance. I was paralyzed by some sort of mental block. An internal battle raged, preventing me from swaying to the beat. Frustrated, I forced myself to loosen up. My body was rigid and it seemed my movements likely resembled the awkward and unsure stumbling of a newborn animal. Embarrassed, I froze again and my face began to redden due to more than just the sweltering sun that was just beginning to fall towards the horizon.

+ + +

“One…” I closed my eyes and focused on the reassuring voice of the man I considered to be the love of my life.

+ + +

I looked over to see Andrew’s reaction to the musicians preforming for us. His eyes were closed and he was swaying ever so slightly to the music. I reached over and grabbed his hand. He met my gesture with a reassuring squeeze.

+ + +

“Two…” I bent my knees. The water was safe. Andrew wouldn’t lead me somewhere dangerous.

+ + +

His eyes opened slightly and he smiled at me. Unable to resist the familiar dopamine rush associated with seeing his happiness, I replied with a wavering smile. As the song began to segue into the next, the notes became more familiar. I closed my eyes and waited.

+ + +

“Three…” I leapt.

+ + +

I let the music wash over me. My movements changed, no longer unnatural. My arms waved in time with the beat. As I opened my eyes, the world was anew. The sun was now setting and it shone a beautiful rainbow of reds and blues and all the colors in between. The crowd was moving more and more, subtle swaying giving way to full out dancing. The band was obviously feeding off the shared energy as well, sounding more and more like the Grateful Dead. As I danced and the band played a wondrous sense of unity became apparent. No longer were we a group of people separated by our own desires and viewpoints. As our brains individually synchronized our movements to the sound of the music we collectively meshed together. Our neurons fired rhythmically, we were all focused on one thing: the magical vibrations from the speakers. The bass shook our feet and every inch of our bodies, turning the music into a truly engulfing experience. Together we grooved, different yet one and the same. In that moment we were one entity. Unified through the music, pulsating in time with the harmonic jam. A blur of wonderful sounds and people and magical movement and electrochemical energy. Each song leading perfectly into the next as if every set was one fluid musical essay yet each song clear and distinct with its own profound meaning beyond even the written lyrics.

Set break. Stumble over to the beach. Collapse into the sand, cool and welcoming to our feet bruised from dancing. I wiggled my hands and toes deep into it, letting the particles slip through each and every crevice, a miniature massage. I threw myself back into the welcoming surface of the beach. As it molded to fit my figure, I gazed up at the massive sky dotted with glistening stars seemingly as small as the tiny pieces of glass I found myself sinking into. For the first time, looking at the vastness of the universe I could feel myself floating on this amazing ball in space. The earth’s movements seemed as real and apparent as my own. Rather than feeling small and insignificant, I was part of it all. After what seemed like hours of poignant silence I sat back up and turned to Andrew, smiling. The dark still beach full of tired fans had changed into a bright and flickering alien world. Fire spinning artists had caused a crowd to grow far down the shore and above their heads I could see flames shooting across the horizon. In between the fire dancers and I, dozens and dozens of people had pulled out their poi, spinning glowing LED balls and sticks and squares and diamonds in all sorts of colors and patterns creating a dazzling display of luminescence. We sat enchanted by the symphony of light inspired by the music we had all just shared. Exhausted yet exhilarated, I couldn’t wait for the sweet, tantalizing music to begin once more.

Every moment that passed from then on was an amazing sensory awakening. Each night I was more and more excited for the moment when the first note would ring through the thick summer air. I found myself falling deeply in love with the soulful music of the Grateful Dead. The feeling was amplified each night as I could sense the powerful loving energy emanating from the crowd. I lost myself in the music, uninhibited by my typical nervous notions. By the time we decided to pack up our tent and leave I couldn’t believe this incredible experience was already over. I wanted to go back to the first night and tell myself how silly I was for doubting this amazing event. I wanted to relive it, I wanted to stay there with those amazing people, that amazing music. I wanted to savor every last moment once more, cementing it into my memory so that I could review it any time I pleased. I had changed monumentally in a way that is nearly impossible to communicate in words, it was evident even then. I came out a true deadhead, a new person, appreciative of the true power of music and positive energy, more open and accepting of change and most importantly: unafraid to jump.

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  • Forum MVP

Hi friends,

My girlfriend wrote this essay about her first DSO experience at last Gratefulfest. I really liked it so I thought I'd share. I also want to point out that just because we are young and we didn't get to catch the actual Grateful Dead doesn't mean we "don't get it" or something. I also want to show how important DSO's work is and how it is appreciated. I hope someone enjoys it, and feel free to post about your first experience seeing DSO or the Dead themselves.

Very cool stuff. Your girlfriend sure has a way with words! :)

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I got chills and goosebumps traveling back to the quarry through this beautiful essay... Makes me a little more sad DSO wont be back there.... At least now I can read this to vividly remind my senses of the beautiful "Alien World" (loved that one) with cool sand, a hot sun and smiling faces!! So lucky to have been a part of the last 4 years of GFest... Those memories will never be forgotten.. Thank You Evan, DSO, and every other beautiful soul that made this sanctuary possible for us for so many years... Now on to Mighty High!

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  • 1 year later...

I'm bumping this because I'm OP's girlfriend and I'm finally joining the DSO forums. Reading this makes me excited for this years festivals, OP and I both have our Jubilee tickets and we're hoping for better weather this year! :P

 

 

 

Here's a picture from Gratefulfest 12, the amazing weekend I wrote about. :wub:

 

2r3jifq.jpg

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Wow...Somehow I Missed The Original Post So I'm Glad You Re-posted

Many Of My Fondest Memories At The Ledges Were Re Lived By It As I Was One Of The "Bodies On The Beach"

I'm bumping this because I'm OP's girlfriend and I'm finally joining the DSO forums. Reading this makes me excited for this years festivals, OP and I both have our Jubilee tickets and we're hoping for better weather this year! :P

 

 

 

Here's a picture from Gratefulfest 12, the amazing weekend I wrote about. :wub:

 

2r3jifq.jpg

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I'm glad you guys enjoyed reading about my experience.

 

It was something else, the ledges was also an incredible first festival location. I know people say it's changed there but I definitely felt a family vibe and encountered nothing but kindness and warm welcome. It totally changed my life basically. :icon14:  I'm so grateful for the DSO experience. :wub:

 

 

 

Counting down the moments until the Jubilee! I love how early it is this year.

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