Bay Area Shows

[Guest Sweet Jane]

My first DSO show was almost 6 years ago. I had graduated from college, was sick of the monotonous bar scene and developed an ear for GD music. At the time I was also at the beginning of going down a very dangerous path to what became almost a very severe eating disorder. I spent almost 2 years living with my ED after my first DSO show. I was living at home with my parents and I was increasing my show radius as it was the only time I found some peace. I blamed my ED on my father so I decided to move out of my parents house and on my own so I could try to heal myself. It didn't work. In fact it did quite the opposite. I spent evenings standing in my kitchen staring in the cabinets afraid to eat, throwing perfectly good food away, weighing myself 10+ times a day, backing out of dinner plans with friends right and left, and making ridiculous rules for myself. I was becoming emaciated, constantly shaking, and losing my hair. I was on my way to becoming very very ill. It was not until I started getting further immersed in the DSO scene that I found some healing. It was a slow, painful, scary process. Besides the music helping to heal, there were two friends in this scene that I owe much of my recovery to. Unfortunately I don't keep up with these folks anymore. But as far as I am concerned, this band and those folks saved my life.

There are so many lessons I have learned from the music of the GD and from the folks in this scene. Compassion, nonjudgment, empathy, love, and the list goes on. I also would have never seen the parts of the country I have seen through this band and may never have made it to California had it not been for DSO. I have the utmost gratitude for the band for being the catalyst in which I met all these amazing friends and learned these lessons.

I've seen the scene change dramatically over the years- I came in shortly after Scott passed and Rob B was playing. I was around for the DanK tours, saw almost 200 shows with JK, the transition with Jeff and Stu tours, and finally the gelling of the band with Jeff. I've seen fans come and go, inner circle change, and relationships fall apart and come together. I've also seen this board go from a very friendly small circle of folks posting to a larger, less intimate scene.

I feel the band sounds better than they ever have at this point. The chemistry pours off the stage. I could not be happier for the band. I was proud to see the band gaining new fans this weekend. The folks out here were stunned. But what about the scene? It has lost its luster. The family is no longer family. What I am seeing are some people no longer around, people using eachother, people being phony, people not supporting their friends when they need them most. Its very sad.

Then there's the bashing that happens on this board. Another bummer.

A while back after the AK trip, I stated that I was done with shows as I need to move forward to a different phase of my life. I decided to stick around for the shows this weekend anyhow as I had a couple friends in town. The music was stellar of course. Its more consistent with every tour. But what was missing was the dso family- the family that used to be. DSO used to be the safest place for me to be, but instead of feeling safe this weekend, I felt sad and at times horrified. There was no love out there. I am grateful for the santa cruz family and a couple other close friends for being there. Fortunately I get to dance with them often at other shows and dances. They are my family.

What I need in my life at this point is a safe place. DSO is no longer that place for me, so I have decided that I will move on. Vairagya, a Sanskrit term, means letting go of something before the pain of not letting it go becomes greater than that which is to be let go. I think that sums it up.

Peace to everyone. I am grateful.

[michelle]

Thanks for sharing your experience and thoughts.... let me tell you ... I know all about meeting new people and dealing and sometimes it is weird.... but sometimes its cool... but overall ... we're threads of light in the fabric of life and being... we can chose to shine or we can be a dull thread... sometimes life brings out both in us from time to time... but we influence each other.... sometimes we're teachers and sometimes we're there to learn...sometimes you meet someone and wonder why... and sometimes wonderful things happen.

A few sayings from The Journey of Awakening by Ram Dass ~

We have what we seek. It is there all the time, and if we give it time, it will make itself known to us ~ Thomas Merton

Inside yourself or outside, you never have to change what you see, only the way you see it ~ Thaddeus Golus

You carry heaven and hell with you ~ Sri Ramana Maharshi

And may I suggest you read The Tao of Pooh by Benjamin Hoff ~ it's a good and easy read. Some say... I wonder what's for breakfast? And others say I wonder what's going to happen that's exciting today? And it's really the same thing.. depending on how you wanna look at it ... and when one's mind is crammed full of clutter ... one doesn't hear the birds singing or see the groundscores LOL only one with a free and open mind one can see All That Is ~

Seng T'san ~ The Great Way is not difficult

for those who have no preferences.

When love and hate are both absent

everything becomes clear and undisguised.

Make the smallest distinction, however,

and heaven and earth are set infinitely apart.

If you wish to see the truth

then hold no opinions for or against anything.

To set up what you like against what you dislike

is the disease of the mind.

When the deep meaning of things is not understood

the mind's essential peace is disturbed to no avail.

*

The Way is perfect like vast space

where nothing is lacking and nothing is in excess.

Indeed, it is due to our choosing to accept or reject

that we do not see the true nature of things.

Live neither in the entanglements of outer things,

nor in inner feelings of emptiness.

Be serene in the oneness of things

and such erroneous views will disappear by themselves

from http://www.selfdiscoveryportal.com/cmSengTsan.htm

So, I just want to say that I wish you well in your journey of life.. there's a lotta love still out there ~ wherever you choose to roam ~ I hope you find the peace and love you're looking for

If you do not get it from yourself, where will you go for it? ~ Zenrin

[Island Bro]

Sweet Jane,,,

First off, thanks so much for sharing your personal story and your deep honesty about your experiences around this music and scene. Even though I met you rather recently, I still feel very "affected" by hearing your words. You bring to the surface many things about the scene around this music that can be difficult to navigate through and fully understand. I certainly don't claim to have anything figured out---all I can do is speak from experience. One of the themes that I come away from reading your post is the feeling/experience of becoming DISILLUSIONED. May I just tell you and whomever else that is reading this that your words feel incredibly familiar the way they touch on that feeling of Disillusionment that I've gone deep into around the scene of this music at times. And I can only suspect that it is also a rather familiar notion for many around here and around this music in general.

You eloquently speak clearly about two separate issues--the quality of the music and your experience around the scene---the social/community element that this music has created. My first question to you, is...do you feel disillusioned (if that is a fair word to use) by the music itself in any way right now, or just by the social scene around it? Sometimes, I think it's really important to fully separate those two out. And let me say right here that I would have PM'd you to say all this, but I'm taking some risks here in an effort to publicly try and do what I can to support but also reign you back in---I know I'm not alone in not wanting to see a great person who loves this music and brings so much to it fly away!!!!! But also, my best guess is that the things you bring up are really familiar territory for many of us around this music and i think you bring up some important points that are well worth public discussion.

But at the same time, I also know that I am not alone in really understanding that it can be important to take space from this scene---particularly when the disillusioned feelings come up....

As we all know, the substance use and abuse that has been around this music since day 1 can be both a blessing and a curse. I'm only mentioning that here because I think it can play into our struggles to figure out what is "REAL" ---especially when it comes to connecting with folks at shows and discovering who our "friends" really are. I feel that this music has helped me to connect with some of the best people in the world and create life long friendships but I've also had many magical connections in the ecstatic moments of dancing with the music that have felt so powerful in the moment, but when you get down to regular life aren't necessarily much of a connection. I don't know if any of this is touching on what you are bringing up, or seeing/experiencing....but I also have found that-- as important as this music is to my life---it has been important to have friends/community outside of this sphere....I discovered (the hard way) some time ago that if I have all my chips in one basket (in other words, my entire social world was associated with GD music) then things just get weird, difficult and very ungrounded. I don't know if that is the case at all for you SJ, but i do know that you've devoted a lot of time and energy into this music and this band (which I admire and am often jealous of!!!!) but perhaps this is just a good time to explore some other passions to put your energy toward and still be able to also enjoy this music and scene as part of your overall balance in life (I'm still resistant to your ultimatums that you are "done" with the scene around this band for my own selfish reasons!!).

Also, I've found that sometimes I need to block out and ignore elements of the scene around me and completely focus on the music when I'm at a live gig in order to get the "blessing and the healing" to use some or your words. Sometimes the social scene around the music is an enhancement, while other times it is a distraction and even a downer....which is what you seem to be experiencing right now.

I just hope your perspective is able to change in time....While I hear your concerns about not feeling the safe and family vibe around.....you are also someone who has the ability to create a certain amount of that...even in a tough scene!!!

And since all of us LOVE this music and are so inspired by the way DSO is cranking it out,,,,,,it is very difficult to ignore your powerful statements:

"I feel the band sounds better than they ever have at this point. The chemistry pours off the stage."

Anyway, Sweet Jane, I truly hope that there will be an opportunity to see you and dance with you at future DSO shows and I've also for years appreciated the vibe that you've put out onto these boards and in fact it is that very vibe that finally inspired me to begin posting on these boards earlier this year since I had only read posts and never gotten around to signing up and trying to add to the vibe. The positive space that you've held with this band and on these boards has been really appreciated and if you truly do need to move on then bless you, dear, but I would sure hope that you could at least be around once in a while even if you need to back off from things to a degree....

All the best and thank you once again for all of your honest and deep sharing,,,,,

H

[Herdygerdy]

Oh how I know how you feel about the "DSO Family" thing... I've been around for 12+ years and well over 300 shows. I've brought well over 40 people to their first DSO shows and most of them are still buying tickets when they are in town. After the first 2 years of following DSO on my own, I developed a kinship to many of the origional traveling fans, band members, and crew that I felt great to call my family.. We've all been through alot over the years, from weddings, funerals, to the births of children. Over the past year and a half,certain parts of that "family" in my opinion has dwindled quite a bit. The core group of FANS that I first met, are still some of my best friends, while some of the others have come and gone... I used to hear from many of my DSO family on a regular basis, when I couldn't be on tour with them but recently If I try to call, or even send a text, I get nothing in return (Yes, I know I am not the best at returning text's either!). While dealing with my mother being in the hospital, there were only two people that dropped me a line, or a text to tell me that they had me and my mom in their thoughts and prayers. Then of course, the part of my family that always had a place for me to crash, or a ride to a show, or just come into town to relax on the farm couldn't of done a better job at sending me lots of love via text messages as I wasn't answering phone calls at that time... Never a good idea to have a depressing phone conversation, one sided, and bring the other person on the other end down... atleast that's how I look at it..

I know that the music itself, has gone way beyond just being a Grateful Dead Tribute band, and the group of people that play onstage are the most talented musicians I think I've ever seen play... I've seen the band play routinely in venues that held only 500 people or less, to now playing in the big venues that hold 2000+.. That says alot, and I like to think that I helped play a very small part in helping them grow. I know I've defended the band as a whole to the naysayers till I was blue in the face, but just like The Grateful Dead, you either get it or you don't..

I often find myself wishing that somethings could go back to they way they were 5-6 years ago, when I felt a sense of security with the people I've called my family, but these days, it just depresses me to think that no one really cares anymore about me the way that I care about them. I understand the fact that you might want to move on, but even though it upsets me to think so negatively about the way people seem to perceive me these days in a personal light, the fact of the matter is that I am a Deadhead, always have been (ok, since I was 15), but I know that I always will be... So the feelings and vibes that I get from my so called "Family" might not be what they used to, but I will always be around to soak up the music, and enjoy the 4 hours of bliss I feel while the music is being played...

Don't ever forget that the music can take you to a state of Nirvana, and keep that in mind before you decide to pack it all up and fold in your hands for good... Much love to you Lisa...

"

[Dstone5553]

Peace to everyone. I am grateful.

One of the things I love about joining this board is meeting sweethearts like you Lisa.

I am grateful for that.

[Guest Sweet Jane]

You all make very thought provoking statements and questions and I appreciate everyone's insights and kindness.

Michelle- thank you for taking the time to post those quotes. I actually have bought several copies of Tao of Pooh over the years and have given them out and always have one here on my shelf. Its probably a good time to dust it off again. I'm usually reading about 3 books at one time. Right now I finally decided to pull out the Electric Koolaid Acid Tests as its about time I read it, and then got a Chopra that I'm off and on with.

Island Bro- I always enjoy reading your notes. I'm so happy we connected in Bellingham. What a small world it is.

My first question to you, is...do you feel disillusioned (if that is a fair word to use) by the music itself in any way right now, or just by the social scene around it?

No I don't think I feel disillusioned at all right now by the music. The music itself is sublime. But see, I always cringe when people say to me "its all about the music" because in reality it isn't. Especially for this band- a scene I have been so enmeshed with.... its very difficult to separate the two. I AM affected by the little things.....the nuances, the moods, when something just isn't quite right. It can be a blessing or a curse depending on what the situation is. Additionally, because I was such a part of the family, my associations between the scene and the music are very tight.

I often find myself wishing that somethings could go back to they way they were 5-6 years ago, when I felt a sense of security with the people I called my family, but these days, it just depresses me to think that no one really cares anymore about me the way that I care about them. I understand the fact that you might want to move on, but even though it upsets me to think so negatively about the way people seem to perceive me these days in a personal light, the fact of the matter is that I am a Deadhead, always have been (ok, since I was 15), but I know that I always will be... So the feelings and vibes that I get from my so called "Family" might not be what they used to, I will always be around to soak up the music, and enjoy the 4 hours of bliss I feel while the music is being played...

Herdy- I'm glad I'm not the only one who feels this way. I don't know when or why or how it happened but at some point the LOVE started to dwindle in the family. People were kind, cared, and looked out for each-other. It was very gradual but at some point it really seemed to vanish. I believe that when JK departed, and things got tough for a little while, some love was lost. I'm not saying that JK was responsible for it one way or the other, but I believe that a riff was created. Folks got defensive. Egos were being protected. Some folks vanished. Folks bickered nonstop on here about Furthur. The band was trying to hold onto ticket sales while settling in with a new lead guitar player. And somewhere along the line we lost the love that was such an abounding part of this family. Were we all too concerned about DSO holding its ground? Were we picking sides? Was the band too busy making sure they got through the tough part that the love they fostered got forgotten? Did we forget why we are here? I don't know the answers to these questions......but I do know what I feel.

"to truly love some silly little piece of music, or some band... so much that it hurts."

This music is church to me. I feed off the energy in the crowd as much as I do from the band. Its a community event and I guess I don't feel part of this community anymore. (I know, I know...the love we get is equal to the love we give...but its not always completely equal)

I had this really interesting experience at the show on Saturday. I was dancing in the back for a bit when the Other One was played. It was a pretty heavy duty Other One- angry sounding and I began to feel terrified as I realized I no longer had my dso family- folks were there but I was alone. After it went back into Bird Song, I went outside and walked around for a bit and came back in when Stranger was being played and I did in fact feel just like a stranger. Couldn't figure out where to go. I finally found the santa cruz family over in our normal spot (why I wasn't there from the beginning, I don't know?) when Althea came on- feeling lost, lacking in some direction. Next up WRS which could not have been more perfect. I realized at that moment, that I have moved on. I was with my family. Darkness falls and seasons change. The pain was still there, but somehow if I just focused on the smiles and energy around me, I held on.

I don't want my shows to be like that though. I suppose it is sad to give up beautiful music, but DSO is not my only outlet. The dead dances are where I'm at right now....even though I can't get to most of them. I never had a chance to dance to Jerry, so that is my chance.

Also, Island Bro, you mention having outlets other than GD. And yes, I agree with you. The GD scene can become claustrophobic so I am grateful I have other friends out here and get a chance to go hiking and camping when I can. Got a few good weekend trips in over the summer. Hopefully I can get one more in before it starts getting too rainy!

I still have so much love for this whole scene and band but right now I need to do what is best for me and that is taking a different path. I can't say I'll never be back. Who knows but the universe is pulling me in a different direction and I need to listen. I'm nearing the end of my saturn return and I'm definitely feeling a pull towards other aspects of life. I'm envisioning a big career change over the next 5-10 years and I need to be prepared (ie, pay off debt).

We're all here because of Jerry. He sure was smiling down on the band in the park on Sunday. I hope that the love grows and folks are kind to each other. I'm pretty sure that is the main message in this music we all love....

Blessings to everyone

oh and David- See you soon I hope....I'll be in touch!

gave the best we had to give

how much we'll never know we'll never know

[Island Bro]

I hear what your saying,,,,even if my experiences have been different.....

I can't help but wonder how it would feel if you just took 6 months off from the live shows...let a couple seasons slip by,,,and then drop back in for just a few shows (say...the NW tour in spring!!---of course, my own selfish reasons for suggesting that!)........and see how it feels........just an idea....

Do what you have to do to take care of yourself!!!

I guess all families have elements of dysfunction and the trick is to accept that and continue to love and be loved.....

[Evangeline]

Sweet Jane, you have started a really heart-felt and interesting thread. I have read and reread your comments and those posted after. The Grateful Dead experience was always about both the music and the scene for me. It was a wonderful, wonderful adventure! After 101 GD shows, I thought that I had experienced the end of that adventure and it would never be recreated when Jerry died. After a couple of years where I was too hurt to see any GD music at all, and during which time I toured with Phish (yes, Phish! And what a different scene that was!), I discovered a band on Long Island called The Zen Tricksters and lo and behold--the music/adventure/scene still lived. Many of my friends were already deeply ensconced in ZT scene and I lived for those shows and relationships. And I also met my husband, which was the most wonderful thing of all. I am a Johnny-come-lately when it comes to DSO--only saw a few shows prior for two years ago, so of course I cannot comment on what was there then vs. what is here now. But I find so much joy at the shows I have been fortunate enough to attend! The music lifts me as much as the GD did, many old and new friends are there, and there is so much love that it makes me cry--literally! The world has changed--and that is the way of the world after all. The Internet, instant communication (in myriad forms), 24-hour news, etc. have all put an odious spin on daily life, and I even find that it has filtered into "our" world of music, dancing and cameraderie. I believe that is at least partially responsible for the changes you describe. I believe the world of the Grateful Dead would have been quite different years ago had we had all these technical tools at our disposal. I thank you for posting your wonderful thoughts--very compelling. I hope so very much to meet you at a show, whether near or far in the future.

[Blindman]

You always have such thoughtful posts Lisa. I hope you stick around. We have lost a number of posters over the last couple years and this place would be worse off without you. Plus, you always get those lists up so quickly.

I saw the GD and Jerry about 20 times a year from '87 to '95. Talk about a tectonic shift in "scene" over those years. As a 16 yr old in '87, I liked the scene at shows. I'd even cruise through Shakedown and hang out a bit. Part of the education I imagine. By '95, my goal was to get in and out of those shows as quickly as possible. I actually still have a crew shirt from '93 that says "last in, first out" on the back... and that's the crew putting that on their own shirts! The scene obviously got worse and it did become mostly "about the music" for me.

Now seeing DSO about 7-8 times/year over the last 11 years, I agree there has been a shift in scene, community. This year, I have been to only three shows. And I went to all all three alone. A couple of my friends have stopped coming after JK left. Others just seem to be "busier". Either way, it has circled back to just being about the music for me. Is that enough for me? I guess I'll take what I can get in 2011 and be grateful for it. DSO does it better than anyone out there, no question about it. It was good to hear about your thoughts from Saturday's first set. That set was heavy (awesome but heavy) and got my mind working as well.

There's no easy answer here, it all is very personal to most of us. I'll keep coming because I love the music. I hope my friends start coming around to join again (age and responsibility does eventually take a toll). I also like the fact you acknowledged the JK piece Lisa. I miss JK in DSO. I just do, hang me out to dry if you must. Jeff and the band were awesome on this last tour, loved it! I just miss the band I got to know well for the better part of a decade. It's our band after all (regardless of composition). The band that brought us back after the pain of 1995 and provides us joys as we go forward. Wave that flag.

[Guest Sweet Jane]

The world has changed--and that is the way of the world after all. The Internet, instant communication (in myriad forms), 24-hour news, etc. have all put an odious spin on daily life, and I even find that it has filtered into "our" world of music, dancing and cameraderie. I believe that is at least partially responsible for the changes you describe. I believe the world of the Grateful Dead would have been quite different years ago had we had all these technical tools at our disposal. I thank you for posting your wonderful thoughts--very compelling. I hope so very much to meet you at a show, whether near or far in the future.

You make a very good point about the way things have changed in general in this world. And you know who I am ;-) I've been meaning to get in touch with you actually....you'll hear from me soon :-)

Life is really funny, freakin' hilarious at times... the same day I started this thread I received a text message from my best friend giving me some information about my family that was quite shocking. I immediately called my father while he was at work to let him know. It didn't seem to affect him too much (as its regarding something he has tuned out of his life). I called my mom the next day to talk to her, concerned about how she was dealing with this information. I found out that she had known about this particular situation since January of this year and never ever told me, despite the fact that we have seen eachother over two visits since then and talk every single day. It hurt so badly to know that my blood family had been hiding something from me. Talk about feeling disillusioned.

Our lives are full of layers of emotions, complications, pain and joy. We are souls living in a physical being and sometimes those physical beings don't work the way they're supposed to. We try so hard to keep our shit together and sometimes we fail. Not because we don't love or care, but because we are so involved in our own layers that we forget. There's been a lot of forgetting lately. And unfortunately when we forget too much, things like resentment and hatred slip in. Those emotions do not come from our soul. They come from our ego and the battle between the soul and the ego is never ending. This is what I've been seeing a lot of in this scene (I do not exclude myself) and I know its because we all have soo much going on in our lives.

I need to step away for a while so I can get back to my own soul. I don't like coming to shows when I can't bring 100% love (and not that I don't love all of you, I do- but I also need to find the love for myself again) or when I feel jaded by the scene. Its not fair to the folks around me or to the people on stage. I'll be back if and when I'm ready.

[Mango]

Life may be sweeter for this I don't know

Feels like it might be alright

While Lady Lullaby sings plainly for you

Love still rings true

Bring it and you'll find it

[Muddy Waters]

To me it is all about the music itself....music encompasses aspects of God and spirituality gifts that make you feel all sorts of emotions of course..

But these guys are professional musicians that bust it every day, it is their job. profession and their way of life....

To me it's questionable when it becomes a way of life for those who follow...

I completely understand it, but it is not sustainable for the long term..

Certainly life long passionate fans....But not the way and the light...more healthy vehicles for that imho..

And this is from someone who does get in Sherman's way back machine when DSO comes to town

[anotherjackstraw]

This is nothing to brag about! Im pretty sure my grandmother goes to more shows ! Ha ha , sorry could not resist.

I saw the GD and Jerry about 20 times a year from '87 to '95.

Now seeing DSO about 7-8 times/year over the last 11 years,

[anotherjackstraw]

A good friend from Chicago that knew Scott told me that Scott was the family, and when he passed , so did the family .

[Guest Sweet Jane]

This is nothing to brag about! Im pretty sure my grandmother goes to more shows ! Ha ha , sorry could not resist.

I really don't think Blindman was trying to brag. People should not be taken down for how many shows they see or don't see. This thread and all the other responses came from a very sincere, thoughtful place and your post reeks of insincerity and arrogance.

It does not matter how many shows you get to. What matters is what you bring when you go.

This type of shit is exactly what is turning me away from here.

Its Grateful Dead people. Be Grateful. And kind.

[Guest Sweet Jane]

A good friend from Chicago that knew Scott told me that Scott was the family, and when he passed , so did the family .

I'm going to take some liberty to speak on behalf of several folks here. Yes, there was tight family when Scott passed. It was a smaller scene. BUT there was a whole contingent of folks that came in after Scott died that are considered family- myself included. The family did NOT die, it grew.

And with growing comes growing pains.

We hear all the time from the folks who were in the GD scene in the early years felt the same way. What do you think happened after Pig died? Then Keith? I'm pretty sure we all know what happened after Brent died.

Such is life.

What would have happened to the GD if Pig would have stayed alive? How about Keith? Of course when we lose someone it is a horrible thing. Everyone here misses Scott. His death was a tragedy. But this band would NOT be the same had Barraco not joined or JK not departed.

What I have witnessed over the course of my short 6 years here is a beautiful transition- with some bumps in the road. Yes, some people left when JK left. But many new folks hopped on board. Its a DIFFERENT band. I am stunned at every show. I remember a day when the band said they would never play anything earlier than 72. And look what we have now! Pigpen raps! Are you kidding me? Kevin is playing better than he EVER has IMO. Lisa on harp!

Its a band I still love with all my heart. I may be going through my own trip here with feeling distant and having difficulties at the show but it is no reflection on the band itself. I do miss the old family for sure, but they are still out there.

NFA!

[Rbarracoph]

I'm going to take some liberty to speak on behalf of several folks here. Yes, there was tight family when Scott passed. It was a smaller scene. BUT there was a whole contingent of folks that came in after Scott died that are considered family- myself included. The family did NOT die, it grew.

And with growing comes growing pains.

We hear all the time from the folks who were in the GD scene in the early years felt the same way. What do you think happened after Pig died? Then Keith? I'm pretty sure we all know what happened after Brent died.

Such is life.

What would have happened to the GD if Pig would have stayed alive? How about Keith? Of course when we lose someone it is a horrible thing. Everyone here misses Scott. His death was a tragedy. But this band would NOT be the same had Barraco not joined or JK not departed.

What I have witnessed over the course of my short 6 years here is a beautiful transition- with some bumps in the road. Yes, some people left when JK left. But many new folks hopped on board. Its a DIFFERENT band. I am stunned at every show. I remember a day when the band said they would never play anything earlier than 72. And look what we have now! Pigpen raps! Are you kidding me? Kevin is playing better than he EVER has IMO. Lisa on harp!

Its a band I still love with all my heart. I may be going through my own trip here with feeling distant and having difficulties at the show but it is no reflection on the band itself. I do miss the old family for sure, but they are still out there.

NFA!

Right on sister!!!!!!!

[acududeman]

I'm going to take some liberty to speak on behalf of several folks here. Yes, there was tight family when Scott passed. It was a smaller scene. BUT there was a whole contingent of folks that came in after Scott died that are considered family- myself included. The family did NOT die, it grew.

And with growing comes growing pains.

We hear all the time from the folks who were in the GD scene in the early years felt the same way. What do you think happened after Pig died? Then Keith? I'm pretty sure we all know what happened after Brent died.

Such is life.

What would have happened to the GD if Pig would have stayed alive? How about Keith? Of course when we lose someone it is a horrible thing. Everyone here misses Scott. His death was a tragedy. But this band would NOT be the same had Barraco not joined or JK not departed.

What I have witnessed over the course of my short 6 years here is a beautiful transition- with some bumps in the road. Yes, some people left when JK left. But many new folks hopped on board. Its a DIFFERENT band. I am stunned at every show. I remember a day when the band said they would never play anything earlier than 72. And look what we have now! Pigpen raps! Are you kidding me? Kevin is playing better than he EVER has IMO. Lisa on harp!

Its a band I still love with all my heart. I may be going through my own trip here with feeling distant and having difficulties at the show but it is no reflection on the band itself. I do miss the old family for sure, but they are still out there.

NFA!

Sweet Jane/Lisa,

I don't know you but I do know you from these boards.

Thank you for your forthrightness and sincerity. You sound pretty tuned into yourself. If you are near/around your Saturn return (around 30), you are right on course. Mind you, not necessarily easy.......often not easy. But just as a piece of pottery must cure hotly in the kiln, you will emerge with more integrity and clarity. The important thing is to hang in there. Go deep, get the support you need and trust the process. Amazing things await you.

As for the DSO/GD scene......my experience is that much of my perception/experience is simply a mirror. Archetypal music/art/concepts/people act as mirrors into myself. The music isn't going any where......the players will come and go since change is inevitable.

I don't know if I have helped you. Please take what you need and leave the rest.

Namaste.

[Guest Sweet Jane]

As for the DSO/GD scene......my experience is that much of my perception/experience is simply a mirror. Archetypal music/art/concepts/people act as mirrors into myself.

absolutely agreed.....especially if other accoutrements are involved. Its quite a powerful tool for self-discovery, acknowledgement, and growth.

Blessings to you!

[anotherjackstraw]

Sorry just being smart assed. Not trying to be a total asshole. Thats why i put ha ha sorry i couldnt resist at the end.

I really don't think Blindman was trying to brag. People should not be taken down for how many shows they see or don't see. This thread and all the other responses came from a very sincere, thoughtful place and your post reeks of insincerity and arrogance.

It does not matter how many shows you get to. What matters is what you bring when you go.

This type of shit is exactly what is turning me away from here.

Its Grateful Dead people. Be Grateful. And kind.

[sgrmag2564]

SJ,

Don't know where to begin. I know exactly what you are saying about the scene. My experience was always one of peace and love when it came to the Grateful Dead scene. We looked out for each other. Back then, you just pass a guy on the street wearing a GD shirt, and a conversation would ensue. You felt connected. There is a bond you felt whenever you met someone away from a show. At the shows, well, it just seemed like you loved everyone, and everyone loved you. Maybe I just got lucky in meeting the right hundreds of Deadheads over the years.

The values I learned over the years of being a Deadhead are the same values I try to instill in my children, understanding, forgiveness, love your neighbor, generosity, tolerance, not just for the people you know, but everyone. The more you think someone is an asshole, the more they need you and the implementation of the values I spoke of above, they are loved by someone...why not me? These are the things I felt our scene was all about, all tightly packaged together by the wonderful music we all love so much.

You are lucky, as am I, to have had that feeling of family and safety centered around GD music. For me it vanished 20 years ago, for you, more recently. But GD music, played live, by the exquisite musicians of DSO always brings a smile to my face and although I probably will never experience that "family" feeling you describe so well, I can always count on a great show from DSO that brings back one small part of the "scene" I love so much. Peace and love to you, and catch a show when you can.

Peace,

Joe

[Ma Walter]

Pestered my daughter to go see DSO at Hardly Strictly Bluegrass which she did and I had a feeling about the setlist. Then when she texted me I was like damn I wish I was there with her. Still enjoying the youtube video of GDTR NFA and many thanks to the one who captured it. Absolutely loved the musical tree who sounded a lot like Jeff.