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Just Say No To The Phish!


Guest L~Cat

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Guest Lisacat

one of our favorite guys is at it again....

http://christwire.or...o-to-the-phish/

Hedonism continues unabated in the parking lots after these shows. The band pays for tanks of hospital nitrous oxide to be wheeled out so that the hordes of regulars struggling with their symptoms of withdrawal can be managed. As people chug this controlled medical substance, their bodies are subdued with painful cardiac fits. These masochists seem to enjoy it, however, and their friends will find obscene entertainment in watching a comrade flopping helplessly in the dirt. Those too high to return to their parent's homes will go anywhere nearby to sleep. In dirty motel rooms and even in the backs of old schoolbuses, these people will give their bodies over to painful patchouli sex parties in exchange for a wet pillow on which to rest their heads. (Rumors that roadies and band members regulary crash these events to demand gratification have garnered the attention of police detectives.) In other parking lot vehicles, puffs on pot pipes are bartered for hasty fondlings. Grungy tapestries may hide the worst of these acts from passing eyes, but the cries and splattered fluids on windows are enough to tell the horrific story. For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. It gives them a small sense of control to harass their aching phalluses to the beat of drummer Fishman's incoherent thrashings.

This explains so much, Herdy.

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"For mature listeners, it will make no sense. There is an incomprehensible absurdity to their lyrics, like the loudest ramblings of a derelict beaten down by years of alcoholism and homelessness."

It's about time someone stands up and tells it like it is....

"Eventually the night reaches a fever pitch of exposed breasts and mushroom peaks and the terrifying hippie dancing will begin."

One more Saturday night...cheers.gif

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one of our favorite guys is at it again....

As I was reading this article I thought that this guy, St Billings, is really good at writing comedy. This is funnier than any dry English humor or even the Onion satire. The article really stirred up the masses with over two hundred comments posted to the web site in half a day....but wait, maybe the comments are just part of his humor and not actual posts.

But then I explored the "cristwire" web site just a little and realized that maybe this is actually not humor but an attack by these folk. This web site appears to be a real far out bunch of radicals. ...and it's a sad fact that many people will believe anything that is said "in the name of the lord"...no matter how false and hateful the statements are. I am thankful that we have Freedom of Speech in our land but we also need enough education to recognize all the lies.

Peace and Love,

Doc

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In other parking lot vehicles, puffs on pot pipes are bartered for hasty fondlings. Damn it. How did i miss out AGAIN??????

For the frustrated, reckless masturbation in Port-O-Johns is the highlight of their evenings. I wouldn't call that frustrated. I would just call it EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW. Unless you're using the smell of the John to eliminate the smell of the patchouli.........I'm going to hurl.

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It's a satire site written by hippies. They actually fooled the Huffington Post. http://www.theatlanticwire.com/opinions/view/opinion/Satirical-Christian-Site-Hoodwinks-the-Huffington-Post-4766

Thanks for clearing that up!

I'm feeling both relieved and embarrassed. Relieved that nobody is really this wacked out, but embarrased that they got me! :wacko:

It seemed at first glance to be too over-the-top to be anything but a parody, but at the same time it was written so well that I fell for it.

BTW: Is that guitar with 5 necks being played by Trey in that article for real???

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Thanks for clearing that up!

I'm feeling both relieved and embarrassed. Relieved that nobody is really this wacked out, but embarrased that they got me! :wacko:

It seemed at first glance to be too over-the-top to be anything but a parody, but at the same time it was written so well that I fell for it.

BTW: Is that guitar with 5 necks being played by Trey in that article for real???

5 neck guitar is for real.

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5 neck guitar is for real.

Thanks. i did a little further searching and found some additional info on the 5-neck guitar. Seems a bit challenging to play the bottom guitar I guess you have to raise the strap so that the top guitar is almost at your chin level. Either that or have been born with arms 5 feet long!

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Thanks. i did a little further searching and found some additional info on the 5-neck guitar. Seems a bit challenging to play the bottom guitar I guess you have to raise the strap so that the top guitar is almost at your chin level. Either that or have been born with arms 5 feet long!

I've seem him use it once or twice. I don't believe he played all 5 nekcs just three or four so its quite possible that one or two of the necks is out of reach.

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It's a satire site ......

The web site is satire but there are many people that actually think that way. There are several very vocal workers that I must be around that exprese this attitude....not quite as extreme as the article but this general approach.

Peace,

Doc

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Well, I think someone once said that any humor inherently has to poke fun at someone. This takes the approach of making fun of our scene while at the same time making fun of closed-minded individuals. I'm not going to get worked up because of closed-minded individuals holding these beliefs. I'll just laugh at the nuggets of truth buried under the mountains of satire.

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Well, I think someone once said that any humor inherently has to poke fun at someone. This takes the approach of making fun of our scene while at the same time making fun of closed-minded individuals. I'm not going to get worked up because of closed-minded individuals holding these beliefs. I'll just laugh at the nuggets of truth buried under the mountains of satire.

I agree. I think their work is great. Yes, some people actually believe these things and they certainly have a problem, but lots not pretend are scene in abscent of problems. They take a terrific approach to bring to light some issues while expressing the absurdity of those who condemn us. I like there stuff, although I will admit if it wasn't satirical I would not be happy. I can only tell its satirical by its exagerrated approach. Bill O'Reilly could not say these same things and get my approval.

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Well, it's just natural that we wouldn't want a so-called "outsider" ripping the scene; it's like a family, and only I'm allowed to make fun of family, dammit!

As someone else said, I'm pretty sure they were outed as a satire site by HuffPo a while back, so when this article came out I didn't bat an eye. I thought in the lens of humor, it was actually quite funny.

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I found the article to be a VERY accurate depiction of a Phish show, from the 5 or so that I've seen.

I agree with DStone!

Perhaps it's ironically less satirical than intended... or more... depending upon whether one is a zealous Christian or a zealous Phishhead.

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